Helping Anxiety
By Samantha Woo, LCSW, Certified Anxiety Therapist
Posted: March 30, 2020
Have you noticed the more you grit your teeth and tell your anxiety to go away and just try to press through, the worse it feels? Maybe it is connected to the Newtonian law in Physics where “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. The more we fight against something, the more it fights back against us. This is true of anxiety as well. The biggest mistake we make in mental health, is having an attitude to “fix” or “get rid of” some of the symptoms that we experience. There is a certain counter-intuitive art to experience of change [Motivational interviewers will tell you that].
Sure, we want to alleviate symptoms, but one of the first things that we all need in any experience of emotional discomfort is acceptance and validation, both in ourselves, and with others. So many times people want to deny the experience of anxiety in the form of trying to “stamp it out”. The message is clear that anxiety is not welcome. However, if you look at anxiety carefully, you realize that we all need a healthy dose of it. Wouldn’t you want a healthy dose of anxiety in those who are driving our planes, trucks and cars, and performing surgery? And you realize it actually serves a necessary protective part of our system. So no wonder it will fight back hard if you try to get rid of it. It is there to serve a purpose and will be loyal to its duty.
So what would be a better approach to our anxiety even when it is on overdrive to the point of dysfunction? Could it be to take a moment, and acknowledge there is something going on? To accept that it is trying to tell you something. And welcome what it has to communicate in the safety and witness of a therapist or counselor?
The most changes I have seen in clients have involved the welcoming the very part of them that got them there. If you can imagine someone who is struggling with anxiety, they are very annoyed with how their daily life has been impacted negatively. But the moment they are able to have space where that part of them is welcome, (whereas everywhere else in their lives their overactive anxiety is shunned,) change happens.
To learn how you can begin exploring change in regards to anxiety, reach out for a free consultation below: